OUR STAFF

Gabe
Baker
What's your most irrational fear?
There is a big stain on my pants in a place only others can see.
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What would you win an Olympic medal for?
Yapping.
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If you could only have three apps on your phone, which would you choose?
Clash of Clans, Clash of Clans, and Clash of Clans
associate editor
Gabe
Baker
If you had your own talk show, who would your first guest be?
Justin Bieber
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What’s your most irrational fear?
BALLOONS
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What's your favorite arbitrary fact?
The number of teeth snails have range from 14,000 to 20,000
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What would be your death row meal?
Cane box combo sub coleslaw for fries and half unsweet tea half lemonade
associate editor

Camille
Bontempo
If you had your own talk show, who would your first guest be?
Justin Bieber
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What’s your most irrational fear?
BALLOONS
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What's your favorite arbitrary fact?
The number of teeth snails have range from 14,000 to 20,000
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What would be your death row meal?
Cane box combo sub coleslaw for fries and half unsweet tea half lemonade
content editor

What would you win an Olympic medal for?
Yapping. Definitely yapping. I’m a big yapper. I yap a lot.
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What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
My mom once gave me a book on the history of farting.
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What would be your death row meal?
15 hot wings, an Oreo McFlurry, a slab of ribs, 5 pieces of crab rangoon, a bowl of miso soup, and a bottle of Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon.
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What is your favorite arbitrary fact?
In the Civilization video game series, Gandhi is known for being a nuke-happy warlord. This is because of an error in the code which the developers found funny enough to keep in.
Colin
Brown
content editor

Abby
Burns
If you could tell time with any object, what would you choose?
I wish my wrist had a watch tattoo that actually worked
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What's your most irrational fear?
The bug I can't identify outside my apartment door
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What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy?
Popcorn with so much movie theater butter that it's floating
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What's the weirdest thing you do in your free time?
Come up with names and stories for the birds at my birdfeeder
content editor

Connor
Dull
If you had to eat a crayon, what color would you choose?
Beige.
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What's your favorite animal?
Humankind, the most dangerous game.​
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If you were a plant, what kind of plant would you be?
Onion
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If you could eliminate any color, which would you choose and why?
Beige, so I don’t have to eat the crayon.
Editor-in-Chief
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Rowan
Hartje
If you could eliminate any color, which would you choose and why?​
That awkward shade of blue/purple that isn’t really blue or purple but also both because it irritates me.
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What things are most commonly found in your pockets?
Always a lucky penny in the tiny bonus pocket on the right side of your jeans that doesn’t fit anything. That’s because it’s a lucky penny pocket
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What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy?
Tomatoes with mustard, just as a snack, no other ingredients
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If you had to eat a crayon, what color would you choose?
As the proud owner of the 120 Crayola Crayon set, gotta be Wild Watermelon
content editor
copy editor

Eli
Katsimpalis
What's your most irrational fear?
ill get famous and people will dig up the social media accounts I made when I was 11
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What's your favorite animal?
I have a fondness for pigs and hippos
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What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
When I turned 14, my sister gave me a rotten banana
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If you had your own talk show, who would your first guest be?
I would invite another talk show host and we would fight over who had the better talk show
design team

Bailey
Smith
What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
Among Us advent calendar
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If you had to eat a crayon, what color would you choose?
Easy choice, pink because they taste like watermelon
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What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy?
It's not really unheard of, but peanut butter and bologna is a staple combo that sounds horrible but tastes amazing
content editor

What's your most irrational fear? Whenever I walk past a bulletin board, I get worried that when the papers lift up as I go, I’m going to somehow get a papercut on my eyeball.
What is the weirdest thing you do in your free time?
I like to choreograph fight scenes to music. Usually in my head, but sometimes I break out the ol’ bo staff and martial arts training.
If you had to eat a crayon, what color would you choose?
Turquoise blue. The combination of dark blue wax and light blue paper is incredibly appetizing, and it would be fun if it turned my mouth that color.
copy editor
Julie
Creech

Alisha
Fields
What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
Therapy. No literally it's what I asked for my 16th birthday
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What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy?
Scrambled eggs and syrup and strawberry jelly
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What's the weirdest thing you do in your free time?
Read past essays I've written for classes
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What would be your death row meal?
Okay so there is the grocery store close to where my grandparents live in Germany called Wasgau, and this have this thing called Schnitzelbrotchen and it's basically like the American version of a prok chop on a roll with some mayo but good gracious that this is delicious. I have genuinely had breakdowns to the point of tears that I can't get it whenever anymore. So I'd be happy with that and a Dr. Pepper (literally crying while writing this because wow that sounds so good right now)
content editor

Bailey
Hollis
What's your most irrational fear? ​
If I sleep with my mouth open, bugs will crawl in and lay eggs.
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If you had to eat a crayon, what color would you choose?
Blue- most used, so I'd have to eat very little.
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If you could eliminate any color, which would you choose and why?
That kind of yellow that's almost brown and desaturated because it always makes rendering sunsets and anything with yellow and purple more annoying than it needs to be.
design team

Kiah
Taylor
What's your favorite animal?
Men
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If you could be a fly on the wall in any room, what room would you be in?
The Room Where It Happened
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What would you win an Olympic medal for?
Speed reading fanfic
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copy editor

Gabriel
Keel
What's your most irrational fear?
ill get famous and people will dig up the social media accounts I made when I was 11
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What's your favorite animal?
I have a fondness for pigs and hippos
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What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
When I turned 14, my sister gave me a rotten banana
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If you had your own talk show, who would your first guest be?
I would invite another talk show host and we would fight over who had the better talk show
content editor

If you were a type of plant, what would you be?
Bamboo (I want to be eaten by Pandas)
Favorite fictional character?
Babe, the pig
Where is the strangest place you spent a Saturday in high school?
Tijuana
What would be your band name?
The Aggravated Sloths
managing
editor
Dave
Concepción

Theo
Davis
What would you win an Olympic medal for?
Midwestern goodbyes.
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What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
A Mason-jar piggy bank that can't fit quarters.
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If you had to eat a crayon, what color would you choose?
Crayola's retired Dandelion Yellow
copy editor
design team
Delaney
Davis
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Tristan
Hankins
What is the weirdest thing you do in your free time?
Sometimes I assemble spreadsheets of useless, measureable information and make charts and calculate statistics out of it.
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What's your most irrational fear?
Static electricity.
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What would be your death roll meal?
A trough of buffalo chicken wings, a cheesecake with caramel drizzle, and a gallon of chocolate milk
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​If you could eliminate any color, which would you choose and why?
Green. I’d be curious what color the Indiana landscape would turn into if green was gone.
content editor

Ash
Jeffries
What's the weirdest food combination you enjoy?
Pickles and goat cheese.
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What things are most commonly found in your pockets?
Taco bell Diablo Sauce.
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What's your most irrational fear?
The day after going to taco bell.
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If you could eliminate any color, which would you choose and why?
Chartreuse because the name is too long
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associate editor

Isaach
Watkins
What's your favorite animal?
My two dogs.
What would be your death row meal?
Fried chicken and a baja blast
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What's your biggest pet peeve?
Loud mouth noises
What is the weirdest thing you do in your free time?
Recording myself covering some of my favorite songs even though I have 0 musical talent
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If you could tell time with any object, what would you choose?
Rocks
content editor

Leo
Silberhorn
What's your most irrational fear?
The beams supporting Soldier field in Chicago will collapse, and the stadium will crash into traffic every time I drive past it.
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What's the strangest gift you've ever received?
My doomsday-crazed aunt and uncle bought me an apocalypse go-bag for Christmas this past year
What things are most commonly found in your pockets?
Coins. My closest friends call me a leprechaun.
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If you were a fictional character, who would you be?
Mitchell Pritchett from Modern Family! Environmental Law IS a real job, thanks.
content editor
Stance Internal Staff
